Tuesday, January 27, 2009


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Winter at the River

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Max, Toby dog's new friend

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Cool Reflection

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Mom & Dad *

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Rain on Small Garden

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Lichen on Chair with Rain and Sky

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Bucky in the Meadow

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Toby dog's adventure

Today we had a walk just not far from home but in a completely new location - a fresh rain livened the grasses and plants. Toby dog was happy! He romped through the puffs of grass, dug his nose into fresh new rodent holes - his eyes danced with mine in joy and gratefullness.

Near the top of the hill he rolled in bear scat, delighting in getting to play/be a wild animal. The scent gave him more confidence and amped his energy - the frolics romped higher, the runs were an abandonment to energy flow - ah! freedom !!!ah....

We meandered along a few trails, stopping to play stick games and just breathe the wonderful moist air deep into our lungs and veins - ah good memory - oak trees holding the earth from spinning too fast while an uncountable life forms held my bones upright on the Earth.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dreams & Nightmares

Dream Journal

December 28 2008

The nightmares play out in my body and my mind during both waking and sleeping hours.

I was injured in the work place a few years ago in a corporate environment. It was a high stress job. Therapists have identified the behavior of a "malignant narcissistic" personality type. The CEO was a brilliant tyrant. I was a random target. We see the tragedies of tyrants everywhere' but I was permanently disabled with post traumatic stress. I lost my ability to read and comprehend numbers for several months. Panic attacks disabled me from leaving the house or driving in cars, even as a passenger. Muscle tension led to neurological problems, fibromyalgia, degenerative spine, asthma and respiratory distress.

In summer this year in Northern California, where I live, was hit by a series of wildfires. For a month the smoke was so thick many of us could not leave our homes for other than brief periods. My body began to fail and I landed in the emergency room yet again. I have been fortunate to have good medical care but this time they were stumped. Modern science had saved my life again but I was sent home with little hope because they just could not find out the cause of my progressive collapse.
At home that night, deep in pain and anguish, and on a fair amount of medication, I struggled to find the peace of sleep. Inwardly I did not think I was going to die but my body was telling me otherwise. I just accepted where I was at and surrendered to God. Slowly the pain lifted and I felt my spirit lifted into what I can only describe as dazzle of kindness, reflecting images of kindness received and given, so fast that it melted my pain and anguish. Beyond this I felt a powerful, magnetic like force that was drawing me into Itself.

Then I became aware of my heartbeat, with the memory of the huge force that is our destination after leaving this world. A fragment of this place came into me and into my consciousness and I instinctively felt as though this would be enough for me to continue to live on here in this world. It was not time to die.

Since then I have not returned to the hospital. I am by no means completely healthy and still hobble around with a lot of limitations. Yet I have been graced with just enough human companionship from a few friends and neighbors, some great healers in traditional western medicine and holistic therapies, the comfort of nature and a joyful companion dog. My mental functions are returning and as long as I listen to my body and rest frequently my physical pains are subsiding. As for what the future holds, I have no idea - One breath at a time, allowing life to unfold.

These dream/visions brought me a stable peace deep inside while my mind and body were disabled - I am so thankful for them * They revealed places I had perhaps never been before.

8/12/06 Lake Tahoe

Dream before Sleeping – flew up above the clouds and beyond the earth so that I could look down upon the sphere of clouds and land and ocean. Kept going past the quarter moon until I was deep in space among the stars, space and stars whooshing past until I was just stopped in space among the stars. It was quiet – I wondered why I stopped here but just accepted that this was where I supposed to be. The dream/vision ended and I become aware of my bed and ambient noise in the house.

A few minutes later the dream/vision continued and I was whooshing through space again with stars flying past. I descended quickly and saw a large, stone like pyramid structure that had right angles of varying sizes at many sides of the pyramid, more like a Mayan pyramid than an Egyptian one. It was much taller than a classic earth pyramid and I could not see the bottom of the structure. As I neared the top it opened and I flew deep down a dark hole that emerged. I wasn’t scared and just accepted the journey. Deep inside the hole opened into a massive cavern with mysterious walls. I slowed and stopped at what appeared to be a small part of the wall with library like shelves with books or something like books on them. One of the books came out slowly and I knew this book contained a soul. Each book was a soul of some living being. Some had lived before and some were yet to live.

A shrouded being approached me to show me the book. It was kind of creepy and I didn’t know if the being was friendly or hostile or neutral. When the being opened the book it showed me my head placed on the book, indicating that I was to die like everyone else that was placed in the books of this “eternal” library. I thought well that sounds normal, we all die and I am no different than any other living being. It did give my ego pause though and made me wonder if there was something I was do with my remaining time on earth that might change this future destiny. It seemed so lifeless to be placed in this library. Another shrouded being approached me but I had some fear it was not friendly and it projected ugly “demon-like” features. It calmly left my vision and I meditated on the question of what some of my choices were to do with my remaining time on earth.

I felt a subtle force of light and energy entering into my being through my head and into my body. It was quiet and light and filled me with a gentle peace that offset some of my uncertainty and fears. It felt as though just a bit of grace had entered into my being, not filling it entirely but just enough that I could contain. Some scenarios appeared before me of what I might still do on this earth but I fell asleep and cannot recall what I was shown.

8/29/06 Home

Did a short latihan/meditation before bed to clear my feelings. Before sleeping I saw a vision of a yellow/orange (gold?) band of energy that surrounded the Earth, hovering and vibrating slightly above the ground. This energy band represents the goodness and love of all the people and beings on the earth, past - present - future , which have felt and expressed these feelings and actions. I could feel myself being lifted into this energy. It felt so good to be in this field, it felt like home. I felt that I would be drawn to people and places and beings that lived in this energy.

Then I saw a column of people 10-15 people thick, male and female, heads and arms stretched up. The column kept going up and up beyond the earth, beyond the point that I could see.

Then I saw fragments of writing in a language I did not recognize (looked something like Hebrew lettering). I kind of freaked at this point because I thought it may be a part of a sacred message and I did not feel worthy to see such a message.

Some time in September 2006

Mary Vision

In September I received a vision of Mary who appeared in her recognized image and then began morphing into a variety of feminine forms, beautiful and ugly, loving and violent. It was a little scary and yet the feeling beneath the form was that all these forms and expressions were She. Beneath the forms the basis and truth was goodness and love, despite what I might see and experience in this world.

Elijah Vision

Again just before falling asleep I received an image of a smiling old man. He exuded happiness. Without speaking I knew he was here to comfort me and be a companion guide through what I was going through and may be about to experience. Again without speaking he identified himself as Elijah. He warmed my heart, but did not express any requests or guidance, just being.

Jesus Visions

September 2006

Sky opens up like a curtain and Jesus is riding a chariot pulled by galloping horses towards the Earth.

A tiny infant Jesus is in a glass cylinder, like a candle glass, outside a church sanctuary. The sanctuary is located in desert mountains, red brown rocks and sparse pine trees.

October 11, 2006

A light appears in a dark space, generated by a being. I felt the presence but no form of Jesus.

Jesus appears with long hair and clad in armor. He is smiling and waiting, emanating a feeling of confidence and patience.

November 2006

Dreamt I was I was 10-20 years older with a full head of gray hair sitting with a group of people talking about something or other when a power overcame me. It spoke through me with great authority and power. However when I awoke I don’t know what it was that was said, but the people in the room were taken aback.

February 23, 2007

Dream/vision before falling asleep: A large truck pulled up a gravel road and unloaded more than 100 cows. The cows were black and white, Holsteins. As they left the truck ramp they knew instinctively that they were “home” and proceeded up the drive to the farmhouse and ranch. This was their sanctuary where they knew they could live their lives in peace, without threat of being eaten. They communicated to me emotionally/telepathically as animals do a tremendous sense of gratitude and “ahhh…. It is so good to be home with you”.

April 21, 2007

Jesus and I are walking down a rocky path. Jesus tells me that what we are both working on will take thousands and thousands of years.

April 30, 2007

The first vision was Our Lady. She was alone, holding her head down, kind of slumped over, sad but not in total despair.

In a dream I was with a group of European artist/bohemian types. I felt awkward being around them until we started to do some inflatable trapeze dancing - it was really fun and graceful. Then Rachel (from Bhutan) and the group of artists started chanting Om Mani Padme Hum - the sound was so incredible in tone and pitch. A wheel/sphere appeared in the room that began to move in response to the sound - it opened up an entire dimension of understanding that is not known from our earthly world.

Later in the dream I was in a new house in some kind of desert hills. A man took me to another house built by a mysterious English/Bhutanese person. It was a large house that each time I looked at it kept expanding into many wings, and many stories. A courtyard inside had a huge statue of a golden Buddha. When I saw the Buddha I cried and felt a great feeling of something good. Later I was walking up a path in a small village (that I had been to before in dreamland), up some stairs, past a modest little shop.

May 8, 2007

Dream before sleeping - The face of Buddha appeared, a large gray, stone face with eyes closed and a gentle, kind smile. It lingered awhile and then the torso appeared and kept growing in length and girth. There were many details and intricacies to the body. At the lower part of the belly a door appeared. The door was closed and opened from the bottom up. Inside a wood floor in tones of red and brown moved about gracefully, sliding in multiple directions. The feeling was calm, safe and alive.

May 21, 2007

Dream before sleeping – A blue and gold being walked slowly and deliberately, almost mechanically, towards a central area. The being was human like, with deep blue skin, with gold encrusted top layers on the head and many parts of the body. In the central area was a smallish gold being, Buddha like who was smiling and alive. The gold Buddha being sat cross-legged and at times rose off the floor a few feet. The gold Buddha then changed form into a spinning gold ribbon of energy, somewhat like a double infinity symbol, or two 8 symbols sideways and weaving amongst each other.

May 23, 2007

Dream before sleeping – A large, intricate and magnificently and highly detailed structure appeared. I viewed from above and closed in to see the detail, more complex than anything I have seen on earth - many colors, and highly evolved details, sort of a combination of Asian and Baroque styles. There were no visible beings but the place felt alive and not without life.

May 24, 2007

Complex imagery of a young baby, an old man and several stages in between that was too fast to grasp with my mind. Buddhist/Asian themes with some sort of understanding of light and a method of pure creation that has to do with being in a certain state that allows one to see and create from pure intent and emotion. Hard to describe but is a state of perception from an inner place. Felt as though my mind and soul were being worked on, stretching and growing.

August 17, 2007

Dream in the early morning - I was gliding through the air both fast and slow, close to the ground and slightly above it. But when I was in my body I was kind of stuck in a very slow, somewhat painful mode. Later I popped into space, looked around at all the stars, then looked down and got scared because there was no ground, but I was ok and when I relaxed in space I was fine, felt weightless and clear in my mind, free of pain

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Message and Vision of Our Lady

Part One

In the past few years I have worried about increasing violence and wars in the world. I have prayed often and asked the question of God and Our Lady if it was correct for me to share the visions I had experienced with other people. I want to share a message of hope but I also do not wish to sound foolish or spiritually arrogant. I did not receive an answer to my question until recently. Late this summer I received an answer. Just before bedtime I had a vision. This was not a vision of Our Lady but rather I began to see and hear the children, those living now and those still yet to be born. They were facing me, looking me directly in the eye, knowing the possibility of living in a world of peace. Their numbers grew from the hundreds to the thousands, more than I could see. They understood. I understood. It was for them that I should share this message, that it might open the possibility for this to become a reality.

Part Two

In late 1990 I resigned from my job and felt that I was to do something else but I didn't know what it was yet going to be. Shortly thereafter I suffered a serious back injury and spent several weeks and months healing. This was a very humbling and contemplative time for me. I cried when I left the apartment after being home bound for several weeks. As I was beginning to recover a friend of mine who ran a local foundation for children and families affected by HIV/AIDS asked a friend and I to help at their annual rummage sale. I was able to attend and helped out at the desk. When it was over I began to think about the idea of opening a thrift store so that the foundation could have a source of funds for their ongoing work. I dismissed the idea when I realized I couldn't lift or carry anything and also had no capital to open up such an enterprise.

That evening, just before bed, I felt a presence in the room and a change of energy just overcame me. It brings tears to my eyes now thinking of it because it was so real, so loving, so soft and graceful, yet so strong and knowing. I saw an image of Our Lady, Mary, in my mind. She emanated a feeling of safety and peace. She told me I was to open this store for the children and that she would open the way. All I had to do was follow her guidance and it would be. It was not a command, but a choice for me. When I reflected on this I thought that this was what I was supposed to do.

Our Lady showed me where to go to look for a vacant store. I went there the next day and took down a phone number. I asked one of the other tenants if they thought the landlord might be open to renting the space at below market rent since we had no money for a thrift store to help children and families affected by HIV/AIDS. They told me he was a millionaire and a hard driving
businessman so they didn't think it was likely. I pondered that but Our Lady told me to just go ahead and contact him. I mustered up some courage, phoned him and set up a meeting. I told him what we were thinking of doing, he sat there and listened quietly, and then just said, absolutely yes. We could use the storefront, in a prime business location, for 1/3 the market rent, payable after we got the store running. We could use it for at least a year but after that if he found a tenant to pay full market rent, we would have to relocate. What a miracle!

Part Three

I was stunned. It had happened just as Our Lady had shown me it would. This gave me confidence in my experience. I had experienced dreams and visions before but never anything that had manifested in the world so easily.

But now that we had been given a space I wondered what to do next. How do you open a thrift store with no money and nothing to put in it? Our Lady told me not to worry. I called my friend who ran the foundation and told her the news about the store. She said she would spread the word and see what she could come up with. I spoke with the neighboring tenant who ran a bookstore and told her the landlord had approved our using the space. Without asking for anything she said she would happy to give us shelving to use in the store. Another friend who had experience in retail said he would help run the store if we needed it. A local charity had an old van. They donated it to us to pick up donations. Someone else had a cash register they weren't using and gave it to us. Someone else had tables for displays. Pretty soon we had all the basics, but nothing to put in the store and it was due to open in less than a week. I just surrendered it to God. The foundation director phoned her network of friends. A woman donated an antique baby carriage that we placed in the window with a sign to announce the opening of the store and seeking donations of goods. The community just opened their hearts. We filled the store within 2 days with donations of art, clothing and household goods. A group of interior designers picked up our cause and gave us high quality wares to sell. I was in awe and so grateful for the outpouring of love. It was just as Our Lady had shown me and I felt the peace and presence of her as things came to fruition.

We were up and running. We had many volunteers from all walks of life willing to help us in the store. Drag queens, grunge kids, disabled people, housewives and househusbands all came together in this magical “happening” It was hard work but there was such grace, laughter and love. Before long the foundation had a monthly source of income and we were able to pay the bills to run the store. What a blessing! For me it was a peak experience of sorts, in that the store combined business, recycling, charity, human effort and love all touched by a humble grace and divine presence. Money from the store helped expand the foundation's programs and run a summer camp for the kids.

Part Four

I'll never forget one boy at camp, Michael, who was 8 years old. All he wanted to do was be a normal kid and play baseball. He knew that he did not have long to live but faced his destiny with such courage, wisdom and peace. The look and strength in Michael's eyes has given me pause whenever I have faced difficulties in my own life. He was wiser and stronger than any adult I have ever met. He was able to play baseball that day at camp. He passed away just a few weeks later.

After a year of running the thrift store, living on a minimal but adequate income, working 6 days a week, I was nearing exhaustion. I began to question how I could continue. Our Lady came to me again and gave me the message "Seek Ye Refuge in the Garden, Restored". I didn't know what it meant at the time but it sounded good. There are many meanings really - rest in the beauty of nature, but later I also realized it meant to rest in the Heavenly Garden, restored to Grace. This was a profound message that touched me deeply.

I arranged to finally take a break from running the store and retreated to Orcas Island, near Seattle, for rest, contemplation and relaxation. I returned after a few days much more balanced and refreshed. I knew that I needed to take more time for meditation but I wasn't sure how to do that with all my responsibilities. Again I just carried on and surrendered it to God.

A few weeks later we received news from the landlord that he had found a tenant and we would have to move unless we were willing to pay full market rent. The thrift store's revenues were modest and we could not afford to pay the full rent and support the foundation. We looked for another location but nothing seemed suitable or affordable. I meditated and asked Our Lady "what should we do?” A few days later I felt her quiet presence come to me again. She said that it was done, our work was complete and we should just let it go. I was sad but I knew it was true. She said our store had been given life for a brief time, similar to the brief but beautiful life that a child with AIDS experienced at that time. She also said that there was another message she wished to tell me and she would visit me again.

Part Five

In the final days before the store closed we were still attempting to find another location to carry on the work. I knew inwardly it was unlikely but there were many people involved and they did not receive the same message I did. It did not seem appropriate for me to share the message I had received, that it was best just to go through the experience. One evening, again just before bedtime, Our Lady filled the room and my being with her presence. I became still and filled with peace, tears welling in my eyes.

Her message was "Lay Down Your Weapons". I understood this to mean to just surrender and let the store close, do not make any further efforts to continue. Once I understood this she said there was more.

I was shown a vision of what "Lay Down Your Weapons" meant for the world. Our Lady appeared all around the world, in various forms, speaking in many languages, touching the souls of children of all cultures conveying the message that it was time to "Lay Down Your Weapons". Children knew that it was time to end war and they were drawn together through this miraculous appearance to make this happen. It was an incredible vision. With the power and grace of Our Lady I knew that is was possible. I asked her if this time was now and she said "not now" but I would know when if I listened to my soul. I also understood that to "lay down one's weapons" was more than just weapons of war, but all things human beings use as weapons to harm one another. But laying down the weapons of war was the first stage of human beings learning to lay down the other weapons used to harm each other such as money, food, water, resources, etc. It was a step to healing and uniting mankind to a next level of living.

This happened in 1992. Since then I have not experienced any further messages from Our Lady. At times I have felt her subtle presence and it has given me peace. I have lived an ordinary life since then, caring for my family and working in the world. But I have often wondered when or if her final vision would occur. I know that if it will happen it will occur in God's time, not mine.

The message is simple really. How do you stop war? Lay down your weapons. It is common sense. We are all brothers and sisters living on this planet provided by God. War is family abuse on a massive scale. The family can be healed. There is hope.

Copyright Patrick Morgan 2006
The Writers Guild of America, West Registration November 2006, 2011

Monday, January 5, 2009

And most of all take time for a nap

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Sunrise on Small Garden

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Frost on Leaf

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Frost on Petrified Wood

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Raindrops on Copper

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Frost on the Wood

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Thursday, January 1, 2009

More deer photographs

these are some nice shots. I like the deer who does yoga and can reach around to his spine!

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